We Are Expecting A Baby

We are expecting a baby next march.

Bam….I said it out loud.Our second baby.

I saw this little baby via ultrasound. My/ our little baby. Only 6 cm long, but everything is  visible. KRASS, a very german word…but all I could think.

This will change my life, our life once again. Our privat life, my work life, the relationship to my partner and to my daughter. Change is good, they say, but I am somehow terrified.

And this little something has turned my world already upside down.

I already lie awake at night and can not sleep, my head filled with tons of questions and this time maybe a more clear few about what to expect. And then again knowing I know nothing at all.

The list of things I said I’d do differently the next time and now realizing with months and months to go that we might just end up doing everything the way we did with my little girl. Because it wasn’t all bad.

The fatigue, the nighttime pees, the heartburn, the weight gain, it all comes flying back to me.

I want to document this pregnancy on my blog, sharing some insides and maybe sharing that not all has to be so hunky dory happy or pink perfect. Being pregnant for me is not the coolest thing on planet earth, unfortunately not.

And if you’r pregnant and it is the best that has happened to you I applaude you and I envy you, yes I do.

But these hormones, and I all blame it on the hormones, make me more fragile, more weak, more teary, more vulnerable then I ever want to be. And they make me so female. Bigger boobs, big hips….I do not want to be this person I find myself saying, but I want this baby, so have I got any choice?

There will be lots to blog, lots to cry and I guess plenty to be happy about because all I can think about during these times where I feel down is the moment my little girl was born and I felt like the happiest and luckiest person on planet earth.

We will only grow with this change, because remember change is good, and this blog will grow with it, too.

I am excited.

Lots of love & Go leor de ghrá,

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