Are We Different The Second Time Around Or Is The Baby?

midwife in berlin and the english blog on what changes with another baby

Are the parents different the second time around ( or of course the third, fourth… time ) or is the baby different too?

Children are different.

I knew that children were meant to be different. I have a sibling, we are different.

I have enough family, all children are different.

All the babies I met during my work, all different.

The second time around and not any wiser

Somehow I never thought that my 2 babies were going to be different.

Call me so naive. I thought: they have the same parents, they have to be alike.

My pregnancy was similar in most parts, birth was equally , so they’d have to be a kind, no?

Haha, I can hear the mamas out there laughing at me.

Or hopefully with me, because I am fully aware how silly my thoughts were.

I have two different babies.

2 girls, yes, but different.

is ist different the second time around?

But I am clearly different too, the second time around!

  • Okay I am older ( did you need to remind me?)
  • I am less tired ( because I have been tired since 3 years )
  • When she is still nursing I lie down with her most times, and just these 10 minutes until she is asleep help me to unwind.
  • I mostly don’t drink coffee after 16.00, not because I don’t want to but because there is no coffeeplace in our neighborhood or playgrounds.
  • I sometimes cancel coffees or playdates because the baby is still sleeping or we didn’t have such a good night.
  • If possible I have only one task on my priority list that I want and need to get done, not more. Everybody is less frustrated at the end of the day.
  • I do not check on her every 5 minutes, when she sleeps, she sleeps
  • I let her sleep wherever and whenever she falls asleep. Rule number one: never wake a sleeping baby.
  • A dirty top doesn’t gets changed immediately, goes for dirty tights, pants, uh yes and faces.
  • We only change nappies at night if totally necessary, hardly ever
  • I sometimes go shopping in a track suit bottom, and for Karl Lagerfeld who said: „your live is over when you wear a track suit“ I can assure you I didn’t even wear socks in my boots yesterday.
  • I have no time to tie a shoelace , it’s boots all the way.
  • I use wipes on my baby’s bum, never used them with the first and now I am making up for it
  • I said goodbye to the cloth nappies for now and started to use pampers pants on her because she roles and moves like a jellyfish.
  • When the baby is on the floor and enjoying a good time, she is having a good time. I am not interfering because of guilt that my baby is all lonely.
  • Characteristics of children are different

Is it easier the second time around?

Sometimes we call our first born „chill baby“ , the joke is, she never was and still isn’t to this day and age. And that is okay. Because she is perfect the way she is.

The second baby seems more like the chiller.

And now I ask you: Is it because I am far more relaxed this second time around?

Or is it the child itself?


Lots of love & Go leor de ghrá,








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